Awake

Thursday, June 02, 2005

shed a little dark

Today was the second day of my summer CPE position. CPE is Clinical Pastoral Education, and I'm an intern at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia for the summer. I will be reflecting on this journey both here and on the PTS cpe.xchange blog.

I led devotions this morning for my group. We read through Psalm 90 (I am really into praying the Psalms right now. I can't deny that this girl had something to do with that.) I also included two quotes and a drawing from Brian Andreas, who is a writer/ storyteller/ artist originally from the Chicago area but now lives somewhere on the west coast. One of the Andreas quotes was, "Opening a door to the mysteries, hoping to shed a little dark on all the stuff we think we know." I think that quote captures the journey of CPE. With all the "time off" I've had since second semester ended, I've thought and mentally prepared a lot for this position. I've asked questions of others, prayed, anticipated...and now here it is- each day stands with fists ready to break down all of my assumptions, fears, and expectations.

Psalm 90, for me, is a great reminder of the dust that I am and the vast all-encompassing God who is from everlasting to everlasting. I find comfort in God as my dwelling place, though I spend most of my time constructing little boxes that hold me in the illusion of a secluded residence. As soon as that box is penetrated from the outside, my defenses are blown and I find myself sheltered in the arms of my one everlasting love. Though I take comfort in God's back-side glory now, I suspect times during CPE where I too, like the psalmist, will cry "Turn, O Lord! How long? Have compassion on your servants!"

I pray that God may "shed a little dark" into my well-lit box. I pray, brothers and sisters in ministry, that you may find the freedom to discover "places where the light & rain get in with no regard for your virtues or reputation." (Brian Andreas) And, above all:

"Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and prosper the work of our hands-
O prosper the work of our hands!" -Psalm 90

1 Comments:

  • At 6/5/05, 1:34 AM, Blogger Dan Morehead said…

    theologica crucis, failing again with Christ, shed a little dark...

    Abby Visco = one woman substantiation of the other (dark) side of the Christian dialectic

    ...for which we can only say, thank you...and lighten up. :)

     

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