Chaos

After a weekend where I was reminded of God's presence, I return to the chaos. I must admit that I did do one google search tonight. I'm hardly prepared for what will happen in a month's time. But I guess a world-renowned skate-boarding competition might be something to check out in late August when I get to this place.

Thanks to my ladies, you know who you are, for your constancy- and to this girl, one of my stones ;). I love PTS and will miss the people who create a sanctuary of memories that bear witness to Christ's love. Much love to my PTS brothers and sisters, far and near.

Did you have a blog when you were 11?

Hello all- the summer continues to move full-steam ahead as I encounter life, death, emotions, and confusion in CPE. It has been quite restorative for me to have a day off here and there, and to spend time with my family.

Last night I headed to Princeton to catch up with a few friends, and it was lovely to discuss my experience thus far this summer. It was also great to enjoy some good-cookin' at Jamie's new apartment (Kellen's fiancee).

Today I get the pleasure of hanging out with one of my nephews, and he showed me the blogs that he and his friends have...so I guest posted on his blog. It's so funny to me to think about these- we never did this when we were 11! So, if you want to check out his blog, you can do it here. And don't worry- the pop-up that comes up is a joke.

Shalom!

shed a little dark

Today was the second day of my summer CPE position. CPE is Clinical Pastoral Education, and I'm an intern at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia for the summer. I will be reflecting on this journey both here and on the PTS cpe.xchange blog.

I led devotions this morning for my group. We read through Psalm 90 (I am really into praying the Psalms right now. I can't deny that this girl had something to do with that.) I also included two quotes and a drawing from Brian Andreas, who is a writer/ storyteller/ artist originally from the Chicago area but now lives somewhere on the west coast. One of the Andreas quotes was, "Opening a door to the mysteries, hoping to shed a little dark on all the stuff we think we know." I think that quote captures the journey of CPE. With all the "time off" I've had since second semester ended, I've thought and mentally prepared a lot for this position. I've asked questions of others, prayed, anticipated...and now here it is- each day stands with fists ready to break down all of my assumptions, fears, and expectations.

Psalm 90, for me, is a great reminder of the dust that I am and the vast all-encompassing God who is from everlasting to everlasting. I find comfort in God as my dwelling place, though I spend most of my time constructing little boxes that hold me in the illusion of a secluded residence. As soon as that box is penetrated from the outside, my defenses are blown and I find myself sheltered in the arms of my one everlasting love. Though I take comfort in God's back-side glory now, I suspect times during CPE where I too, like the psalmist, will cry "Turn, O Lord! How long? Have compassion on your servants!"

I pray that God may "shed a little dark" into my well-lit box. I pray, brothers and sisters in ministry, that you may find the freedom to discover "places where the light & rain get in with no regard for your virtues or reputation." (Brian Andreas) And, above all:

"Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and prosper the work of our hands-
O prosper the work of our hands!" -Psalm 90

Here and There

Lots of thinking. Lots of visiting. Lots of praying. Lots of listening to Train. Lots of driving while listening to Train.

Finals are over, friends. Seminary's first blow- done. It's been interesting. Lots learned, lots more to learn. I've met good people, and hope to have a few of those turn into lasting friendships over the next few years. As of now I'm in western PA, spending time with a portion of the most important people to me in my life...my family. A sister, brother-in-law, two nieces and a nephew to be exact. Five blessings, and five reminders of where I come from.

In the next few weeks I will transition from Youth Director to CPE intern...and then just two months later back to Youth Director again, in a whole new context. I can't say I'm not nervous and excited about it all...

Christ as A440 and the cross-song of Bach

Dr. Friesen-Carper, my musicianship professor in college, commented once that he loved the sound of an orchestra tuning. This was not a shocking or shattering comment for his pupils to hear, considering he was the conductor of Valparaiso University's orchestra. However, it made me stop and listen the next few times I went to hear an orchestra play. Once the A440, or "concert pitch" was sounded by the Oboe or Clarinet, I would tune my own ears in to the sound of the orchestra adjusting pitch to the 440 cycles per second.

One of my seminary professors yesterday referred in class to the "concert pitch", and pushed the metaphor to how we might atune our lives to God. Christ as the great A440- imagery I'd never thought of. Is the sounding of this pitch the cross? Are our lives in the eschatalogical "now...not yet" the amalgamation of countless instruments striving to atune to that pitch?

Just some thoughts...

Another metaphor:

Douglas John Hall, in his book The Cross In Our Context discusses what theology would look like if it were played in this key: in the key of the theologia crucis. Hall hypothesizes that some might say the theology of the cross fits well with a minor key, seeming gloomy compared to so much of the jubilant theological expressions of popular Christianity today. Hall claims that life is often found in a minor key, and to neglect that reality in favor of the "all things bright and beautiful" mentality that so many Christian sects embrace today is to be "out of touch with life".

However, Hall's suggestion moves beyond the categorization of theologia crucis as strictly minor. He claims that there is a great modulation between major and minor that the "thin tradition" adopts (without, he claims, the sentimental diminished or dominant fifths and sevenths) akin to the work of Johann Sebastian Bach. Hall claims that this theological tradition that was "never much loved" (Moltmann) is played well in the pens of Luther and Bonhoeffer. The reference to Bach is also a nod to that Lutheran tradition, "That is to say, he knew enough about death to look for life in the midst of it and not be pretending that death in all its guises did not exist." (Hall, The Cross in Our Context, 9)

Interesting imagery...